You’re a what?

You know how you get really, really excited when you meet a new guy or girl, and that person exhibits some potential?   So you invest time talking to this person, getting to know him or her, seeing if maybe, possibly, there is something there.   But then there are some little signs, some inkling of things about to go awry that pop up.   Maybe your communication doesn’t flow all that well anymore or you already have run out of things to talk about.   These are usually not good signs.  I am not saying they are the be-all, end-all of your relationship, either.   I’m just saying they are signs and not much more.

The first of these signs with a particular guy was that, while it was clear that we were interested in each other, he was stalling  on asking me out.   Eventually, he told me to ask him out (which is essentially him asking me out, anyway).  I did, we set a date, and we were set, literally…or so I thought.

A day or two before the date, he sent me a message:

Boy: I feel that this is something that is important to talk about.   I am poly by nature.

Me: You’re a what?
Boy: I believe in the idea that you can love multiple people – love, be with, and cherish them
Me: ahh okay…
Boy: and I realized last night that it would not be fair of us to go on a date before you knew that, because I don’t believe in leading people on
Me: Well, that’s appreciated

Then, the plot thickened:

Boy: I do have a girlfriend in NJ.  We both follow this, and we are completely open and honest about our actions.  I have been seeking a romantic life in my current city, and I am glad that I’m being given the chance to explore that here.  I know this isn’t the easiest thing to handle if it’s not for you.  I would still like to meet and go on that date,  but I understand if you don’t want to now.   Also, if you have any questions about it, I will gladly answer them.

I never answered him about that. I think he’s still looking for that “Special Someone” to this day.

My friends love to tell me how I really know how to pick the winners.   This one is probably less of a loser than others I’ve “discovered,” but it’s a good start to introduce you to what I encounter!

It’s not always “fun” to have these experiences.  You spend time talking to these people, and it kind of feels like wasted time when you make a discovery such as this.   But in reality, all you can do is chalk it up to experience.   One of my awesome friends reminded me that dating is like gaining practice.   To get good at something, anything, one must practice.   Practice makes perfect, after all.   So you will have both good dates and bad dates, but it’s the good dates and the bad dates that allow you to chalk it all up to experience and have those awesome dates that lead up to everything being “perfect,” just absolutely perfect.

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