After my daily trip to the gym yesterday morning, I felt this needed to be said.
I go to a gym that costs money, a lot of money, but it’s still less expensive than some other gyms. Either way, you get some real characters at the gym.
Character 1: This woman must be in her 50s, and she wears a different Lululemon ensemble every day. You have to wonder if she’s showing off her money, thinks she looks cooler/better in it, or if she actually thinks it makes her perform better.
Character 2: Another woman who may be pushing 60. I’m not quite sure, because she is so incredibly emaciated, it disgusts me. She’s so thin, not only can I see her ribs, but I can see the bumps on each and every one of her vertebrae of her spine. Her skin also appears to have no elasticity left. She always wears nothing but a sports bra and spandex shorts, and she spends hours on the elliptical. Great you are thin; not so great — I have to see literally every single bone of your body.
Character 3: This gentleman is easily 70 years old. Every time I see him, he is donning a light grey sweatshirt, knee-high socks, white sneakers, and shorts where I can pretty much see a lot of what he has going on, because they are both so short and so loose. He also tries to hit on me. A lot.
Character 4: This is not necessarily specifically referencing anyone in particular, but more of a general observation. This is about people who don’t wear workout clothes when they are working out. You know exactly whom I mean: The guy in denim shorts. The woman in the argyle sweater and some weird red moccasins. The guy wearing the old, faded button-down and khaki pants. People, when you work out, you need clothes that afford you flexibility, the freedom to move. If something was, at one time, appropriate for the office, it is not appropriate for the gym.
Character 5: This one is pretty simple. This is the person you see day-in and day-out at the gym, and the person is ALWAYS wearing the exact same clothes. Don’t they wear out quickly? Do you really wash it every day? Do you have time to wash it every day? If you are that gung-ho where I see you every time I’m at the gym (and I’m there 5-6 times a week), then you should invest in maybe one more gym outfit. And P.S., when you smell like you haven’t showered in a while, please stay away from me.
Character 6: For my last character, let me discuss the one with ill-fitting clothes. When your crack is smiling at my face, it’s time to either pull up your pants/shorts or get some new ones. Ladies, if every one is turning a stare toward you because perhaps your attire is a little revealing, put on a t-shirt or something, please. It’s kind of distracting when everyone’s head is turning.
Finally, if you stumbled here and don’t know me, I really am a kind and caring person. I don’t like to pick on people, because I have been picked on a lot. This is more a compendium of my observations in and around my gym, nothing more!
