There are the guys you want to hit on you, but they never do. Then there are the guys who always hit on you, and you can’t ever get them to go away. Sometimes you have to wonder when being hit on crosses the line to be the point of making you uncomfortable. Luckily, I get stuck in a lot of these uncomfortable situations all the time, so I can easily explain them. I’ll never forget the time I was leaving a parking garage at about 1:30 A.M. I was paying the attendant, and he was smiling at me…and he was missing teeth. He tried to convince me to go home with him and drink some wine. I was so incredibly grossed out. He wouldn’t give me my change until I went home with him. I get into these “go home with me” situations quite frequently. When I was in Israel last summer, a Bedouin wanted me come back to his place and drink some tea with him. He also asked me if I’d be interested in marriage. Thanks, but no thanks.
The other day, I was filling up my water bottle in the hallway at my place of education. This guy walks behind me, and he speaks to the janitor, so I think he’s just another guy who works there. Then, he stops, as he opens the door to the stairwell, and he says hi to me and asks how I am doing. I can see where this is going from the start, and I really just want to go back into class. I tell him I am doing well, and as I try to walk, he starts making small talk with me, as if he knows me. He asks what class I’m in at the moment. Then he says that we had so-and-so’s class together last semester. I swear, I’ve never seen this guy before in my life. Then, he starts asking like he’s my best friend, that I’ve known him forever. He goes off on this tangent about how wonderful the professor was, how amazing he is, that he’s somewhere in Europe arbitrating this case or something like that. I just wanted to go back into class! But it was as if this guy was holding onto me if I tried to walk away or if he set up a forcefield that would not allow me to take further steps to the door. Combine that with the fact that I did not want to be rude, and I was stuck.
Last night, I was out with many friends. There was this one guy there that many girls described as “creepy.” He had on a rather large Jewish star, and as he made his way to the back of the establishment, he looked at my friend’s chest, told her she had “a nice Magen Dovid,” and he TOUCHED HER CHEST to touch the Jewish star. I mean seriously, this goes beyond a violation of one’s personal space. This also delves way into the realm of creepy. It’s one thing to be approached at a bar, but it’s totally another to be touched at a bar. Men should never, ever, ever touch the chest of a woman he doesn’t know. That is, of course, unless it is so crowded, his back or elbow brushes up against her or, of course, if he is falling down and there is nothing else onto which he can latch his grip to hold on for dear life. Breasts are off-limits. It’s as simple as that.
Another weird thing that happened last night was that a guy I’ve known for a few years came up to me. Out of the blue, he said, “I can’t date XXXs (XXX = people of my profession, which as an anonymous blog, will remain anonymous). I mean, was he trying to hit on me? It was just really weird how it was said and how he was clearly flirting with me while he said it. The difference with this though, is that I know him, so it’s not creepy, although it would be if I had was talking to someone new, told him what I do, and then he said that he couldn’t date people of my profession. See the difference?
Then, today, after I started writing this post this morning, I had to run some errands. This was seriously fuel for the fire for my post today, which I had ironically already started to work on. I was at Whole Foods, perusing the prepared foods case. The guy behind the counter asked if he could help me with anything, even though I had just walked up to the case. I replied to the man that I was “just looking.” He said to me that he was “just looking, too,” as he looked my body up and down. Ewww. I mean, seriously, I was in jeans and a NorthFace shell jacket. It’s not like he could see what was underneath or anything. That’s aside from the fact that I am clearly not his type. Do men really think that we appreciate comments like that, being talked to like pieces of meat? No. It’s totally different for them to talk amongst themselves about things like this, but please do not say things like this to our faces, when and where we can hear them. Aside from being stupid and disgusting, it’s creepy.
A few months ago, I was trying to explain to my friend that the way he approaches girls sometimes can come off as creepy. If two girls are in a coffee shop deep in conversation, do not approach them and interrupt them. They are deep into girlie time. If it’s meant to be, then some divine force will interact and make it happen for you. Sometimes, you just have to let fate play a hand. You’re not in control of everything. Not every girl you think is cute or hot is going to be receptive to you. If you are single, you don’t need to incessantly hit on women. Wait for the right moment. It’s not about making the moment but rather awaiting for the moment to happen, for the moment to make itself evident to you. I know it might not make sense, but trust me, it’s right. Guys need to think about not creeping out girls. And when we women are creeped out, rather than being receptive in any way, we need to gain the strength to simply ignore it and walk away.
